This is the first article of mine which appeared on the now defunct Killerflamingo.com. Farewell big pink bird, we hardly knew ye. (Oh yeah, nothing IS sacred.) This originally appeared on 04/28/02.
That 70s Detective Show
A Gay opinion
by R. A. Melos
So, Baretta was arrested for allegedly killing his wife.
I was a television junkie while growing up in the 1970s, and I know I watched just about every show on the air. I still love watching the tube, but real life has taken over and forced me to be more responsible with my viewing habits. I do remember watching Robert Blake as Baretta. I think he had this sidekick named Huggy Bear. No, wait, that was Starsky and Hutch.
Most of what I remember about Starsky and Hutch, other than how hot Paul Michael Glaser was as Starsky, is the fact his late wife, Elizabeth Glaser, became an AIDS activist after contracting the disease in the 1980s.
But I was talking about Baretta. I know I used to watch the show. I think I remember him living in a trailer by the ocean. No, sorry, that was The Rockford Files with James Garner. He was hot to watch also, and I definitely remember those funny Polaroid commercials he made with Mariette Hartley. They made such a believable couple television audiences actually believed they really were married.
Now back to Baretta. He drove this great car with a big 01 painted on the side. No! My bad. I was thinking of the Dukes Of Hazzard. The hot car was the General Lee, and cousins Bo, Luke and Daisy all lived with their Uncle Jesse forming a nontraditional family unit.
Give me a second here. Baretta. Baretta. Baretta. I think he had a friend on the police force named Downtown Brown. Wait. No, my mistake, that was former WKRP In Cincinnati star Tim Reid, and the show was Simon and Simon, about two brothers who ran a detective agency in San Diego. Boy, was that a great show.
Sorry, I got distracted. Baretta. I know it wasn't set in Hawaii. I definitely remember he wasn't the hot detective living on the estate of a reclusive fiction writer. For a brief moment, I thought that might've been the premise of his show, but then I remember that was Magnum PI, and it starred Tom Selleck. Hey, Magnum and Baretta are both the name of guns. Give me a break. I'll get it.
I remember Baretta had an unusual pet. A monkey, I think. No, wait, that was Michael Jackson. For some reason thinking of Michael Jackson reminded me of the Father Dowling Mysteries. I wonder why?
Oh well. Baretta. Was that the show about the rich white guy who adopts the two black orphans to form a nontraditional family unit? No, I remember, that was Diff'rent Strokes, with Gary Coleman as the wisecracking child star. I wonder what he's doing now?
I know I'll eventually remember the premise of Baretta. It was a long time ago, and I am getting older. I wonder if it was a Quinn Martin production? Remember them? Barnaby Jones was one. Lee Meriwether, the Catwoman from the original Batman film co-starred with Buddy Ebsen, the father from The Beverly Hillbillies.
Oh well. Maybe his arrest will revive Robert Blake's career, just like it did
for that other actor who allegedly murder his wife. Mike Tyson. Wait, I know
this one, really!