Groundhog Day III: Maybe This Time It's Personal?
A Gay Opinion 2/02/03
By R. A. Melos
Yes folks, it's that time of year once again. The Day The Groundhogs Come Out! Er, I mean, the day the groundhogs stick their tiny furry heads out of their holes and tell us whether or not winter will go away early leaving us with blissful and warmer spring. If they haven't come out, sexually speaking, this might not be the year to do so, as the current administration is so much farther to the right than America has been, politically speaking, in almost 11 years.
It's no wonder, what with President G.W. Bush constantly reminding us that the world was a much better place 11 years ago when his father was the president. Of course he's only speaking for himself, I assume. He must be, because I don't have such fond memories of the first Bush administration. As I remember it, they were simply a hold over from the Reagan years and not all that loveable.
On the other hand, groundhogs, while not exactly the most cuddly of our wilderness friends, are far more loveable than the dictatorially stone-faced John Ashcroft, or the deviously clever, in a very dangerous sort of way, Dick Cheney, or the deceptive Donald Rumsfeld, or the Czar of homeland insecurities, Tom Ridge. Basically, groundhogs are more loveable than any politician, living or dead, currently in office. I say living or dead to include men such as Strom Thurman, of whom the word "living" is questionable, yet the word "dead" doesn't apply in the traditional sense.
Hmm. Perhaps a better term for Strom Thurman is "living dead."
Sorry, got distracted. Now let's get back to the groundhogs.
So this year may not be the year for Phil, or Pete or Chuck or Willie to venture forth from their closet, but the truth of the situation is, "if not now, when?" If those brave little meteorologists constantly wait for the time to be right, for the world to be a safer place in which to proclaim their sexuality, they may never come out. The shame of that would be the wasted life of denial they would have led. So I am urging them to step out of their burrows, proclaim winter gone and a gay old spring right around the corner.
Sure they will be flying in the face of conservative world views and butting their heads up against the walls of bigotry and hate, but it is still better to live an open and honest life as an out and proud groundhog than to constantly be looking over their shoulders, worrying about who might've seen Mr. Bunny sneaking out of their hole at 3 AM. So maybe this year they will take the message personally and come out for the entire world to see, and for the GLBT community to welcome spring with a renewed sense of pride.
At the very least, I think one of them should add a rainbow bumper sticker to their tails.
Happy Groundhogs Day!